Grieving during the COVID19 pandemic

Grieving during the COVID19 pandemic

 

Grieving during this pandemic

My mother-in-love (law) recently passed away. She got severely ill during the pandemic…no it was not the COVID19 virus.

I remember visiting her 2 days before the lockdown, Benjamin kissed her for the first and not knowing for the last time…at the time it felt strange to me but it all makes sense now.

Due to all the strict lockdown regulations,

all we could do was giving her call daily (usually around 5pm). She was at home at times and then sometimes rushed to hospital. While she was in hospital we were not allowed to visit her. She often mentioned to us how lonely she felt and that she misses us. We were not allowed to take anything to her; we could not even gain access to take fresh pyjamas or her favourite snacks. It was horrible…

The doctors kept giving us bad news and we so badly wanted to see her just one last time. We were not even allowed in at the gates of the hospital. All we wanted was one last glimpse of my momma. Just to stroke her hand one last time, even just a brief moment, a split second. Too feel her tight hug or see her smile…just one last time.

I couldn’t it was illegal….

She always spoke to Benjamin on the phone in her last days. We then thought to make her a hug. We used a big piece of paper and let Benjamin lie on it. We cut out his posture and let him scribble on it all he wanted. We sanitised it, put his scent on and then asked the doctor to give the hug to his granny …

We don’t know if she ever received that last hug from him.  We were not there. We don’t know if she could breathe in the scent of her grandson for one last time…we were not there. Does she even know about the “letter”? We were not there. We will never know if she ever received it.

At the funeral…

In a time where everyone needed comfort we couldn’t hug, we couldn’t lean on each other’s shoulders (literally) and we had to invite only certain people to the funeral (limit 50).  So many friends and family wanted to come say their final goodbyes, but they couldn’t. And then it was said by government you are not allowed to cry at a funeral…how crazy did life get?

Oh COVID19, how you have come to turn life upside down. But we will keep standing firmly rooted in Christ Jesus.

I pray for comfort for everyone who has lost a loved one during this pandemic. Not only to COVID19,  but in general. May you experience the love of God now more than ever.

How I cured my acne

How I cured my acne

 

For many years in my twenties I had acne which has definitely gave my self-confidence a hard knock. It came to a point where I didn’t want to go out or see people. I would talk with little eye contact because I knew they were staring at my skin. I made a decision to change it but then a huge blessing came my way…

My MooiMaak journey…

I was part of the biggest make-over show called MooiMaak. There the dermatologists educated me how to heal my acne. All steps were followed, my skin was 100% clear and I was myself again. Then I became pregnant and my skin has been in the worst condition ever! Hormones and unhealthy eating (you know, pregnancy cravings and all that) played a big role.

After Mooimaak…
 At this point I had no expensive treatments, products and supplements to help me fight my acne. I had to jump on the research wagon and here is what I found…

Everything that happens in the gut comes out on the skin. That means, I first had to check my diet. Common triggers for acne are dairy, processed foods, gluten (bread, pasta, rice, etc.) and sugar. Some people can eat all of these and still be fine, but maybe…. They don’t have a leaky gut. Leaky gut has a direct link with acne. After all this I had to keep a food diary. I also included fermented foods like kombucha, kimchi and kefir to help with the good bacteria that my gut needs.

“Do not forget to drink water throughout the day. I usually drink 3litres maximum per day. ”

This food diary thought me exactly what triggered my acne and it was really hard to cut out certain foods. I miss those milky teas and cappuccinos. It took sacrifice and tears (I literally cried at times because of craving those foods). But the results were great motivation to curb it and make this my new lifestyle.
My skincare routine…
Topical I used a range of organic products until I couldn’t afford it anymore. I then used raw black soap and shea butter (this stuff is magical) only until I slowly incorporated other products into my skincare routine. I now use Portia M  skin products (it is affordable and works great for my skin) and a strict anti-blemish approach that includes vitamin C serum, derma-rolling, SPF50 sunscreen and a AHA/BHA peel 3 times a week at home. 
Below is the anti blemish mask that I use daily and it works wonders:
Anti-blemish mask:

*1 teaspoon turmeric

*1 teaspoon honey

*1/4 teaspoon bicarbonate soda

*1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
Mix all together and put on clean, dry skin. Leave for 20minutes and wash off with a dark cloth (turmeric stain badly). 

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Our nighttime routine

Our nighttime routine

I’m a firm believer of “the night sets you up for the next day”. Not only that, but children sleep much better if their night routine is consistent. Also, routine gives children a sense of security and help them develop self discipline.

Firstly, choose calm activities that your kiddo like and make it part of wind-down time. Benjamin for example likes inset puzzles and a good story.

Here are few calming activities for night time:

*smelling (calming scents e.g lavender)

*building blocks

*pillow talk

*playdough (with lavender oil, it will calm them)

*yoga for sleep

Let’s see what happens at night at V-residence:

*Around 06h30pm we have dinner as a family. After this we clean and set clothes out for the next day. Benjamin packs his toys away, “sweep”, “mop” and dry dishes (his own utensils). My husband and I do the dishes together and do some final clean ups.

*At 07h30pm it is bath time. We take our time with this. Here we include water and sensor play while the lullabies are playing in the background. This is also where we dim the lights. I make it a priority to massage his entire body. I specifically do the reflexology baby massage that also focuses on lymph stimulation which helps to promote sleep (I learned all this at work through chats with professionals-I’m a child therapist). He always uses body lotion and covers himself in it. I let him be, as this is a nice and soothing sensory experience.

*Finally, after being all oiled up and calm we read The Bible, pray and he will then choose a book (or seven) to read until he falls asleep. NOTE: he weaned himself (I played a part) from the bottle around 16months old. So, no bottle at night. He often asks for water in his sippy cup.

This is our night time routine and what works for us.  See what works for you and your family. Adjust where you need to. Let me know if you have any questions. I will gladly answer.

Happy sleeping!

Love,

Authentic Mom xoxo